musings on childtraining

Yesterday I participated in a ladies workshop day at our church. It was dreamed of over the past months, watered with prayer and planning and the day went smoothly due to the help of so many ladies. I was amazed at the transformation that the foyer took with tables, chairs and tablecloths. The many helpers seemed to know their task and with joy cared for the areas they were responsible.

It was a bit of "my baby" as I had expressed desire for practical teaching for our ladies and applicable to their lives. 13 sessions were offered over 3 time slots in a variety of topics. All seemed to be wonderful from the buzz about the rooms. My heart has been Titus 2- training younger women to be keepers at home and loving husbands and children. With that in mind I took on the task of the Child training 101 class.

It was with great faith that I agreed, as I am not a public speaker. 2-3, at the most 5 is my comfort level. I am a listener and wallflower, unless very secure and comfortable. I was happy to have only 8 come to my session.

In preparation I dove into my favorite books and authors, recalling what its like to live in the season of little people constantly about. A neighbor was a sounding board, but I still didn't feel like I had hit the nail on the head. Then I watched Michael Pearl's The Joy of Training DVD (www.nogreaterjoy.org) he does a wonderful job of presenting the balance of discipline and fellowship. He establishes the need for training children and taking control until internal control is developed as well as being joyful in the doing. I was convicted of some shortcomings and began the process of retraining where I had allowed slackness to reign within my household.

Going into the class there felt to be so much to cover to give a good basis of information, but also wanted to leave time for questions to follow. I am not sure how it was all received, but I hope some of the ladies went away with an extended vision of the outcome of present training, with the realization that they can expect obedience and are right to train for obedience. I presented that the rod of correction is available as a tool as one begins training, to reinforce the words spoken and as a consequence for misbehavior/ rebellion once the standard has been established.

Prior to teaching the class I had checked in with the pastor's wife to alert her to my content. She and I dialouged a bit about the acceptance level of the present generation in the use of the rod of correction. I am not sure how all attendees received the encouragement to add it to their parenting tool box. Today as I dialouged with a women in education and childcare providing industry I walked away wondering when had the shift come to our nation on this Biblical tool??

I thought back to some of the teaching I have received under the Truth Project (www.truthproject.org) Of how the nation changed after 1859 and the publishing of the Origin of the Species. This book preceded a shift in the legal system and the trickle down effect has been great. As I follow the path as I view it soon followed other events and their trickledown effects. The Bible was no longer seen as the basis of our beliefs and legal system. The Bible was taken out of the schools. Generations were raised without the Bible as a basis of their education. The generations have become proud and have rejected God's plan for raising children. In arrogance we dismiss God's principles for our own. We have become "accustom" to children ruling over parents with tantrum throwing, hitting, disrespectful speech among other things.

As I considered the rod of correction that the Bible speaks of I realize how arrogent it is for this generation to dismiss a training technique that were used on most if not all Bible characters, on hundreds of years of children and the fruit showed by continued obedience and honoring of parents through those years before time out was developed. The lack of use is documented where the Bible tells of children who went their own way, of the children that were to be stoned for their rebellion and dishonoring of elders.

What God showed generations as a plan to manage the unrestrained passions, we dismiss as harsh, unneeded, and lacking effectiveness. All the while, we continue on a path of frustration and discontent as our children seem to rule, not obeying simple commands.

Hmmm, I guess they have actually learned some lessons from us- we rebel from God's plan and our kids rebel fro our plans.

So again I ask myself, what do we (I) fear in my lack of trusting the Creators plan? Do I fear the lack of control- not getting to follow my own plan? doing things my own way? Do I fear man- his rejection and ridicule? Do I not trust that the architect of my soul, the creator of my body really, truly does know what He is talking about when he gives instructions on how to train and shape a child's will, so that I might enjoy him fully??

I have considered this week the parallels between my life as a child of God and the life of a my child towards me. Our ever patient Heavenly Father gives his commands and instructions in the Bible and by the rulers over me. If I disobey there are consequences that follow. If I don't pay attention he increases the pain until I submit to his authority and align my will with His own.

For a child the parent gives the commands and instructions by words and training. If disobedience follows consequences follow as well. If the child continues to not obey the pain increases until they choose to submit and align their will under their parents will.

Contrast that to the modern stream of thinking. The parents asks a child what he wants. Or a parent removes consequences in fear of the child experiencing any pain. Or the child doesn't listen to the parent, (this was once called rebellion or domination) and acts as he she /wants and the parent negotiate so the child will do the right thing.

We have come a long way from the day of the parents being parents, children being children and obeying their parents. Of parents knowing that they are to have authority over their children so that all may enjoy one another's company and live together in peace, not truce.

I have not fully processed this, I am chewing on it and thinking about it at this point. I know the success we have experienced as we live in fellowship with our children and hold them to a standard of obedience. It has come from applying a rod of correction at times. Those applications diminished as the understanding of obedience increased. It has not always been easy to apply Biblical principles, to submit my will to my Fathers. Yet the stakes of not doing so seemed higher than the ease of the present moment, so we did it. I believe our children are more settled for having done so.