simple things can be so hard

This morning I caused some brain cells to burn. The assignment was to create the letter C with upside down cups- on the floor- spaced so you can dribble between them. Simple? maybe, maybe not.

the "c" started out more like an O, then a bit heavy on the bottom, snuggled close to the island. the ball was dribbled, but then it took over and skooted a cup across the floor. Then the island jumped in the way. thoughts of enlarging the C were not within my boy. Earlier we had enlarged and dialogued about how and why with two other letters. Frustration rose and the word hard was used many times.

Again enlarging was demonstrated and talked about and then dribbling through was completed with greater ease. He was worn out. 3 letter, 15 cups and a ball- enough to challenge the brain some days.

And so life goes here, some tasks simple, some tasks simply too much to process and execute without great challenge and frustration. If only I fully understood what it is to walk in his shoes, with his brain struggles. Compassion continues to grow within me as I live alongside many who struggle with large and small "issues" and life events.

So often judgement comes fast and first without ever considering the story behind the person. Covers do a good job of just that - covering up what lies within... stories take time and trust. so much lies beneath a cover- more than the presenting activity, there is depth and history.

Oh to take the time to understand and walk beside, modeling, teaching and encouraging as the brain burns new pathways to success. slowly we shall master this new challenge just as we have other "hard" things that are now easy.

Monday, monday

What a Monday this has been, full and to the brim with life.

I started the day in the garden in my nightclothes- it was hot and sticky and rainy, but i knew i needed to shower so why bother to change - the tomato harvest was nice, the weed pulling overdue. As the day got rolling with plans to bless therapists with banana muffins my son came seeking a ride to work, his 297,000 mile car was acting odd. Scramble to regroup, remember neighbor has second car and get permission to borrow and he is off in the van. As I try out his car all seems fine, so fine that I later take it to him, swapping for my van.

And so we launch into therapy, library, bowling- never broke 100 but had fun trying, and thrift shops as well as BK for lunch. First thrift shop no major score, but second- God did it agaiin! My dear neighbor who allows us to rack up pool points has found her tall outdoor chairs falling out from under her- she was down to one and in dire need of replacements. She had scoured the new stores, and found they were $$$, but so functional that she was willing to buy replacements. As I walked into the shop today what awaited once again amazed me- a set, almost identical to what was at her house, a bit fancier- 4 tall chairs and new to her table for what she might pay for one chair new! When she found out she went and bought it, and my husband, who happened to have his truck in town, picked it up and delivered the set.

What fun to see God care for needs and wants once again.

Home again I tornado cleaned to restore order to our house. Mondays out are always a bit of a stretch. I had posted things on ebay- they sold and were packaged- a blessing to me- a $20 purchase netted an abundant gift to relatives, and about $100 in sales- more than compensating the original cost and many little girls will be enjoying the bounty of the original purchase! fun!

We redeemed some pool point time- what fun i have enjoying the kids in the water and then when Dad joins in it ramps up the fun. He becomes the leach that they cling to and are launched from. Sam wrestled with other boys- being tossed and tossing them into the pool.

As I anticipated the evening ending our son returned home, and he and Dad gave a look see to the car. A few hours later a minor tuneup is done, with more work ahead as a radiator leak was found and new wires are yet to be installed, but a quieter, happier engine seems to be in the faithful transport. They are now gladly holding down cushions and waiting to rest.

Monday- a bit full but also abundant in blessings and bounty of life!

The new stove is in

Just wanted to share the new stove- a little thing but another testimony of God's provision in my life. The old stove had a incident of "thermal shock" where the front of the door left sponatanously (sp??)- it blew apart and fell to the floor all by itself. not fun, not cheap to replace - it was 17 yr old downdraft Jenn Air. We really wanted to keep the downdraft fan as it was great. We really did not want to spend over a thousand for a stove to do so.

We prayed and waited upon God and one day as I "happened" to pull into a thrift shop that I "happened" to remember was local to where I was there sat the new stove- for $50. It works great, it is digital and all the old stove parts fit in the new stove so we have spares. Three hours sweat equity and we are renewed and rejoicing!

ARt FuN dAy

Tomorrow is Art fUn dAY!! It is sure to be fun.

I have had this idea for a few years.... Art on the Porch. Art fun day is my trial run of this idea. Last week we had a fun time playing with art stuff together. Tomorrow more families are joining us. The neighbor girl is earning entrance by being a gofer for me in the morning. It looked that fun from afar last week that she did not want to miss out. I think others felt the same way as they are returning.

Tonight as I look at the numbers 14 parents and at least 30 kids I am wondering what was I thinking??? Fun... mess... creativity. using up supplies.

I was remembering all the days at Helderberg Workshop as a girl where I am sure I attended on scholarship... daycamp at its finest. Bussed to a school campus and allowed to immerse myself in creative things for hours.... a bit of heaven on earth.

Summer is here again and I know how long the days can be... how boring they can get without the normal structure of life. So we are adding a bit of variety to our days and thinking forward even now of if we should do this again and again... Art on the POrch?! sounds like fun to me.


Tomorrow the kids will paint t shirts, carve soap or plaster/vermiculite, paint with tempra and or create with wood scraps. Not the norm for at home art projects...just as I like it; hands on and a bit messy.

And in the midst of all that moms will share life, kids will "socialize" and community will be built. folks will leave richer for the time given to others and the service given to one another- that is the ticket- parents serving to help pull this all off. After all arrive and directed mine is the easy part, circulate and guide. The moms and dads runs the stations as the kids are busy creating.

it is fun to see an idea start to come together, start to form and learn what works and what needs tweeking as you work the idea into fruition. I am blessed to have this opportunity and the resources to share with others.

Life is Life

This morning is the start of a busy day... therapy, haircut, library, oil change, home depot and maybe even staking tomatoes at the community garden then home - whew- I am hot and tired already. Such is life some days here in Toney.

Last week we had many families join us for an Art Fun Day- a trial run for my vision of Art on the Porch... a dream I have of fully using our wonderful wrap around porch for creative space for kids. The kids got messy with paper mache, clay and paint. This week they will have time to explore wood scuplturing and plaster carving as well as tshirt decorating and paint. paint is a great standby and often not freely allowed at home. The messy stuff is what I enjoy allowing in our art time- open ended creative time with good supplies that allow kids to explore mediums of mess!

I was surprised the evening after the Art day when a critter was found upon my porch railing. A cicada dressed up for more art fun in bright colors! creativity at its finest... later it was revealed that a dad was the artist this time. Fun!

We have had visitors come and go in recent days. Our old stove, without a full front has by now been recycled for scrap metal and the new one that God provided is working wonderfully since my husband installed it. The garden is growing and the battle against the bugs is on. We had a catepillar invasion so I donned protectitive gear and "fogged" it well... waited and watched and 5 days later not a bug to be found... only the skeletal remains of their attack. It remains healthy and we sigh in relief.

This summer project is white- stain the fences and paint the wood. all too soon the heat has come upon us and the desire to be out in it has not remained, yet we go. Soon the fence will be done and the taping of the porch will begin- sparing the concrete of dots and sprinkles of white. How fresh a new coat of white makes all things look. it also has given us opportunity to note areas where attention is needed to repair wood that is no longer with us.

So we continue on in Toney life. living, playing games, making changes, adjusting to changes, experiencing new things, learning new skills and just living. We'd love to share it with you- come for a visit, the front porch is a great place to sit and rock and visit.

Another home improvement

For the past four years we have wondered "what were they thinking?" about the sink in our kitchen. The beautiful Kohler sink and faucet came with the house, yet did not transfer warrantey to us, the new owners. The faucet leaked, the spray nozzle was a dud, but worst of all the water from the facet leaked to the back of the sink, onto the tile and caused us concern of water damage growing. We are a dish doing family, we have a dishwasher, yet it is only used part time- this sink was a 1/3, 2/3 style- not great for handwashing.

Friday as my husband lingered away from the home it was not a linger but a shopping spree. He came home with all the needed supplies. Early Saturday he began and the sink was pulled, and so the adventure began. With the sink came 4 partial tiles. Oops- yeah for extra tiles under the house, so they were replaced and the new sink installed, along with a high speed Moen faucet- easier to get parts if needed than Kohler :). We now have a large, spacious double sink with 9" depth. It is great to do dishes in. It is built to direct water back into the sink rather than to the tile. It is functional to us who work hard in this kitchen.

Home Improvement projects- great times, memories made and happy changes. In this house that has needed much functional maintance work the blessing of changes that are wants/needs are a blessing. No more leaky sink/faucet, no more wet tiles and towel laying beyond the faucet to absorb the water. We are blessed with another home improvement!

Working away

Life in Toney has been full... of wood! A few weeks ago my dear hubby told me to find a tree guy to take out a few diseased trees. The yellow pages quickly brought a family run business with men anxious to work. Kind of rare these days to have an employee thank you for hiring him, they did several times... affirming our choice to do the job that day. Down came 3 trees, a fourth one topped and many trimmed.

The result has been a yard full of wood, brush and logs. Slowly the yard ornament- a downed pine tree - dropped in one piece so my hubby can play with his chain saw, has gone away. Today was the last as the youngest and I cleaned up the pine needles and stray branches. The divets and dents will get filled in with the next load of cotton trash compost.

While we were busy in the front yard there was a work crew going in the back yard. For the past few weeks the chainsaws could be heard chunking up the 2 tall downed trees and getting ready for a wood splitter. Today the men spent 6 hours splitting up logs- 3 full cord of wood is now drying beside the fence. The branches that came down are halfway gone, more trips to the branch pile awaits us. I have begun to rake up the stray wood- who knew there was so much work in cleaning up after a tree downing.

I am not sure I will ever again take for granted the sheer physical labor of tree surgeons again. There were 5 folks working in the back yard and still work remains. 24 man hours and several yet to go ... I guess the thought of how wood warms you several times is true as today folks who started with sweatshirts soon were in shirt sleeves.

Dinner was a kind of quiet meal- many exhausted bodies around the table. yet there is satisfaction in a day spent moving muscle, moving nature and accomplishing tasks that were set out to be done.

I thanked the Lord for the blessing of work, for the priviledge of it.... a jail work detail reminded me of how many are not free to work outside, health issues trap others within their bodies and homes. Ahh the blessing of moving leaves, limbs and dirt... spring is here again!

Thoughts I never considered that would occur

Another call last night..10:35pm; " I think S is having a seizure", the scramble for clothing and the dash up the stairs to find our son in the midst of a brainstorm. Part of life, stuff we deal with yet never simple and never totally "normal".

How can it be normal to see your child "gone" and the body taking over, seemingly with a will of its own. To see a body in unnatural contortions and manners, to see the vacant stare as you count the minutes. As a parent you wonder when will this one stop? what caused it? what needs to change? To realize, again that you are not in control, and cannot truly control the life and breathe of your child. To recall that the one you birthed is truly in the hands of his Creator. To trust that He has numbered your child's days and pray that the number is much greater than what he has lived thus far.

And the minutes tick, as the brain does its dance, the dance floor being your child's body. The moves shift and change, not always following a set choreography. Unexpected moves bring about new concerns or sighs and hopes that this dance will soon stop. Questions are in our mind, as the clock ticks and the dance continues, should we make a call? why did we not stock the drug to call a sudden stop to this brainstorm dance. And the dance goes on, seeming to increase in passion. And then with a sigh it is over. A body rolled over and a head lifted that tells me that my child is back.

Sweet is the fellowship and communion between parent and child in the moments declared to be "post ictal". The hearts of these parents breathed a sigh of relief that their child has returned to rule over his brain. That the boy that brings such delight is now with us again and we cope together with the life that we live together. Sleep soon will come, but not before we pray and thank God for life, for health and the days ahead.

Who knew when the word epilepsy was first spoken that such thoughts and experiences would come, I sure didn't. Life is always full of surprises, adventures and opportunities to live dependent, trusting God to care all of us in the midst of life. That trust has helped us to walk through this journey for alone I think the journey would be much more of a challenge.

Amazed again

God works in lives in different ways. For some he gives the gift of music, to others wisdom, service, teaching. For some there is a gifting to work with youth, babies or lead mission trips. For many years I had a family member who never struggled to find a job, it was as if God gifted her with employment as time and again His provision was seen with jobs coming out of circumstances unexpectedly.

In my life there are times when I feel like I have a similar blessing- the gift of provision through yard sales and thrift stores. Many times folks have mentioned a need or desire and within days, sometimes within 24 hours I have been able to call and tell them of an available option. Angel needed a printer, the next day one was found for $10. Joy wanted a food processor, it was found for less than $25- for a high end model. Rugs, clothing, swim trunks with built in diaper, zippers, and the list goes on. I tell friends that if they have needs and wants to let me know as I might run across the item they desire.

Rarely do i expect the answer to the need/want. Often I am amazed at the provision because often I have only thought of the need, hardly truly praying for it, but rather just talking in my head. I am overwhelmed some days that God has cared so well for me, for my needs and provisions with such specific provision. It does not make sense to me as I see many in need and see others struggling to meet needs. I understand it not. some tell me that perhaps it is because we are willing to care for others with stuff that stuff is provided to us. perhaps, or perhaps it is just DaddyGod loving in a way that glory can come to Him.

So let me glorify my God... He has done it again. My art class will soon start up again, soon we will have a day of card making so the students can prepare for Valentines Day. In my mind I was thinking of needing to find cards and envelopes- homemade cards are so much better with envelopes that they will fit in. Yesterday I went to a local indoor yardsale and amongst the jumble were two packages of blank cards and envelopes- 100 total for $2! Score! to get that many envelopes at the craft store would have been 5-10x the cost. yeah!

I was a blessed woman, a busy woman and my day got back to "normal". Then my husband asked me to go to a military show with him, not really interested in leaving the house, but wanting to bless him I compromised. I would take care of errands so he did not have to drive to a strange place. I went to a infrequently visited thrift shop. My eyes zeroed in on a slide in stove in the yard. We have a slide in stove, with a downdraft fan- not a typical stove, and not cheap to replace. A few months back the front of our 15yr old stove decided it was time to leave, so it did, promptly. they told me it was thermal blast- all I know is it is gone and looks odd without a handle and front. We love the stove, but didn't really want to spend $1,000 to replace it so that we could continue to have a vent situation.

Back to the yard, the stove was the same brand, downdraft and made in '01. I was told it just came in, part of a remodel job, still works. $50! SCORE!!! I was elated- I almost didn't leave the house, i just thought of making the stop after dropping hubby- never anticipating that I would be buying a new to us stove. And once we got it home the parts of our present stove will fit in this one, so we have spare parts! Amazing- only God could do this ... connect lives and stuff... meet needs and bless so specifically.

God is amazing in so many ways... I am blessed when He does these things. I am thrilled to tell others of how I have seen Him move in my life. Yet, that is not what I delight in the most while following Him, today at church I had time to share that there are many attributes that delight me. I think the character of God and Him being my strong tower are what brings me the most comfort to my heart. I guess generosity is part of that character, it is a joy to be a receipient of as well as a vessel of... a joy to give as well as a joy to receive. It is fun to watch how God works in lives around us- how does He work in your life?? where does He show up that you might glorify him??