Topics spoken about quietly

This has been a day of remembrance, a day of gratitude and thanks, a day of praise and glory in the graciousness and goodness of my Creator. This is a day when I considered that which once I would not speak of, was ashamed to speak of, or maybe to proud to speak of.

A few weeks ago my trusty computer wrote me a note: time to schedule your colonoscopy. Not a big reminder, yet a reminder, one I forgot about, don't look forward to and try to avoid thinking about much, but there it was, again. I laughed about it, shared its arrival with friends and after a few days of avoidance called the doc to get the referral. Today was my appointment. Today was a walk down memory lane as I looked at medical records and recalled December 1992.

That December I had a baby and an unexpected surgery, a baby that may have saved my life as did the surgery. After the baby the unspoken part of my life came to light. I had been growing a very large colon polyp and did not know it, yet I knew something was not right within. I was too afraid, shy or proud to speak of it honestly and openly. I had cried out to God, for in my heart of hearts I knew whatever was happening in my body was more than I could deal with.

After the baby's arrival the polyp showed itself and was dealt with. The reality of my ignorance came to light. The possiblities of colon cancer came to our conversations. My pride was laid out to what it was- foolishness. Brokeness was one of the fruits of that season, one that continues to bring sweeter fruit in my life than I ever imagined- bodily functions are not longer shameful and whispered, they are reality that are honestly dealt with.

So today as I walked in my memory to those scary days of '92 I recalled how the baby was in ICU where he received wonderful care as I was getting cared for on surgery floor. How my Mom was available to come help with childcare (2, 5yr olds). How the church reached out and cared for my family while I could not. How what could have been cancer was pre, pre cancerous. What could have been abdominal surgery did not have to be. How we were cared for on so many fronts and advocates and quality health care folks surrounded us. How we saw God show up thorughout thos days that felt so ovewhelming yet had rays of being cared for spread throughout them.

In that season of life I began to learn anew about my body, the importance of paying attention to it, to seek care, research oddities and be willing to speak of and face the "shameful" parts that glory may come from the parts that are due honor. I now give honor to the "shameful parts" by followig doctors orders and routinely fasting and prepping and undergoing checkups- small price to pay for more years of life.

Once I wondered if I would be around to see my baby turn 1. This past December he turned 17- we both lived that long and have lived alot of life in those years. Oh how grateful I am for that.

So, if your body is doing odd and weird things, please seek out answers. Care for it well and seek solutions, even if they are uncomfortable... life is worth living to its fullest and part of life is some discomforts. And if you are over 50 - get a scope, just to be safe.