the lightbulb went on

We were riding in the car, doing math and multitasking- math on the go so we could once again have food in the house. Once again I heard " I am confused" from my son. My first reaction was frustration at a simple instruction not making sense to him. Then the lightbulb went on.

A few weeks ago I was told that mini seizures were/ are/ have been happening in his brain, 1 sec blips that alter consciousness. At times I have seen them and nicknamed them the "one second pause", thinking it was a processing delay. No, seizure. At that moment the connection hit- the "I'm confused" may actually be my cue that he has returned from a brain storm, a minor one but one that has left him fuzzy on what is/ was happening and now needs to be cued in to present activity.

Another dot connected! A moment of "duh, why did I not get that sooner?" A realization that what I may be hearing and what he is speaking can be two totally different things. A moment when I begin to look at life from his seat a wee little bit. A blessing to me to understand a bit more of the struggles he faces.

So, slowly the lightbulbs are warming up here, the understanding of life with epilepsy and the many facets of its walk grows within us. Some weeks the light feels strong and harsh, other days we do not even notice that it is shining in our lives. Many times we are shaped with grace and mercy and compassion as we consider what our buddy has to deal with at unexpected times and for undetermined days.

In all this we thank the Lord for understanding,revelation, compassion and protection. We seek to be gracious and keep it all in perspective. The lite lightbulb is helping.