Thanksgiving in the woods

We have returned from a trip to the woods. On Wednesday we headed across the county and up to the top of a mountain to camp. I was glad to see the temperatures rising as Thanksgiving draw near. Yet as the dusk came so did coolness. It gets dark early these days so by 5:15 we were happy for flashlights and lanterns.

As we huddled around the campfire it occurred to me that we were fairly close to Jones Valley- a shopping area that is about 30 miles from home but only a few miles from camp. Being homebodies we normally hibernate at home once we arrive there so often we might think of a movie but tend not to venture out. I presented the idea to Papa and after a quick hotdog dinner off to town we went. Not our normal camp activity but just right for that cool evening, made me feel like we were tourists or on vacation. The laughter and fun of the movie Bolt proved to be a good start to our time in the woods.

Thanksgiving day began early at camp- by 6 am we were stuffing Tom the turkey into the smoker and cranking th heat up to get him smoking. Throughout the day he was checked, new wood added and he continued to smoke. It was a leisure day of walks and knitting and visiting as we slowly prepped for the soon to arrive visitors. We had invited neighbors and friends.

Around noon they began to arrive and we began to put finishing touches on the meal. As the gathering grew we handed out treasure hunt lists and teams scattered to find items of interest and creativity. After our dinner the judging began and it was fun to see what was collected and how creative some folks had been. We had parts of a dead skunk, a dead snake and a flattened, dehydrated frog with price tag all presented for a category. Where items were not to be found the pens and paper came into use as they were written out or illustrated.

Paul and I agreed that the moment that made all the work of the day so worthwhile was seeing our neighbor and her daughter (19) chasing a salamander, dancing in the leaves and smiling like little kids. It was a delight to share the day with them as "dad" is away in Iraq and having walked that path we know how hard such holidays can be.

The meal was enjoyed with words of what we are thankful for and thanks given to God for the many blessings and joys He has allowed in our lives. It was a blessing to share the day with several families with diverse traditons yet all enjoying the natural setting and the woodsmoke that warmed us

Thanksgiving in the woods is a bit different, but having gone to the woods for 3 or 4 years now i believe it is also addictive. To be surrounded by nature, away from electronic distractions and touching a bit of the pilgrim lifestyle brings out an appreciation for modern life and the beauty of the world has created for us.

Refurbishing the throne room

Today has been a day of changed plans and activity. We hoped to rake leaves but the blessed rain of last night changed that plan. Then as we were planning trips to town the word "bookstore" came up and the middle two clammored to go with us so off we went on a multi stop shopping trip.

Years ago Saturday morning shopping was the norm, but its been years. Years ago having the family all around was also the norm. I have forgotten what it is like to have 3 kids hanging about as I make decisions. Kind of crazy, kind of fun. Many of them went off on the coupon run- finding the coupon item as I did the other items. We survived and Dad endured the teasing and poking of many fingers. Memories were made, one child even suggested it should be repeated every few months.

The main purchase of the day was a new throne to reign upon in the kitchen bath. The main dancers are tired of dancing with the throne room sceptor, so the research team came up with a replacement and it was procured today. Not to miss an opportunity to share "life skill points" with any of the prodigy the princess was tapped for the job. She and the Burgmister have since been engaged in the process of removal and replacement.

Yet, not to miss out on the fun the elder princes took possession of the old throne and used it as a base for some creative photography. It has been a while since a family picture and depending upon the outcome of todays endevor it may be awhile again. yet in the midst of it all came laughter and creativity as the kinder bonded under their originality and quirky use of porcelin.

As the sun prepares to set I find myself filled with the sweetness of the day, time with children of all ages, life shared with my bear and normal tasks but made richer by the company of the day. The throne room is being restored to normal with delight in knowing that dances should no longer be held before the new throne off the kitchen. Soon we hope to shut down the master dance room and the upstairs dance hall.

The moral of the story is when building a house spend the extra for a better functioning throne!

living with the clothing clueless

We started our life together years ago with a life in the military, as such our closet was filled with uniforms, church clothes and a few other shirts and pants. The daily choice was dress uniform or BDUs', not really choices as they had set choices preselected by the powers that be.

Fast forward to 2007, the Mr is now working in midlevel management. The "uniform" has changed to business casual or a business suit or on Fridays casual attire. Though truth be known he tends to side on the casual side more than not, as I married a man who favors jeans and flannel shirts. He loves to dress down on the weekends. He longs for the "wooby" (lined flannel shirt that has been broken in) of 20 years ago. It has disappeared so the favorite is the 10yr old version. Nice.

On any given workday morning our darkened bedroom is interesting.
me- "what are you wearing"
him- "the greenish pants and the red kind of shirt"
me- "let me turn on the light" click "no, they don't really go."
him"why not"
me "the pants are casual, the shirt is not"
him "oh, well pick something out for me"

And so it went at first. Then I bought hangers and color coded the pants and shirts on matching kind of hangers. That worked ok. I then got out the paint chip charts and created a matching chart. The chart shows possible pant colors and possible shirt colors that co-ordinate. Oh to have adult gerr-animals that we had as kids- all the cats match, all the horses match. My color chip chart is the closest I could come up with easily.

Recently after a few weeks of "that isn't a casual shirt, its a dress shirt" mornings I got smart. I pulled out the label maker and have added a new feature to the closet for the clueless. He now has labeled sections in his part of the closet- casual shirts, pants (cargo pants), dress pants and dress shirts. Ahh, I think we have the solution here.


** For the record my dear husband tries really hard, its just that he has a learning gap here. Just as I have one for computers- I can use them and figure some of it out, but need lots of tutorials, his is a visual thing when it comes to clothes, colors and textures. He lovingly remembers the days of ease- the days of uniforms and few choices beyond clean or worn before pants and shirts as they all looked alike. So, I am thankful for the visual eye that I was born with and the bit of fashion sense I have gleaned over time. It has been fun to find creative ways to make something that was listed among his "hardest things in his life" to be a bit easier for him. Another way to be a "helpmeet" for my bear!

falling like flies

A few weeks ago my husband came home with the news that another couple we know are taking the path of least resistance- Divorce. In the past year it has felt like the couples around us are falling like flies. Different reasons, same reasons, reasons unknown- always something that spurs them to say "I'm done".

First came the couple we've known the longest from our military life. The call came after the D day occured, a tearful tale of infidelty, quick divorce and now a long time friend now leaving town and saying goodbye. She has managed to land on her feet in another state. Thankfully she has been provided well in the midst of it, and has turned to God in the midst of the pain. She is still very much in recovery but seeking God and finding solace there.

This past spring brought work related deaths of marriages. Boredom, too much separation, not enough connection, not really sure. But all of a sudden I found that my husband was surrounded by men who were no longer married to their wives- some happily, others tearfully yet the death occurred. And all so quickly it seemed. I spoke to one of the men, encouraging slowing down and breathing in the midst of the pain, but it all was too much- better quickly done than enduring the pain longer was the response.

We are not ignorant of marital strife, pain and mistakes. We have made our share of mistakes. Yet somehow in the midst of it all we have been stubborn enough to hold on and hang out and ride the wave of pain, the quell of quiet and slowly do the recovery work that comes with our own stupidity. Not easy, not fun, I dont like to admit it or visit it, but worth it all.

A few weeks ago as word came of another impeding split came my heart broke again. I wondered aloud to my husband if he would ask for a divorce if I came down with Alzheimers or was suddenly disabled and he'd have to scrap plans for the future as he desired it to be. That was my analogy of what was happening in the recent death scene- tired of what is, and as he looked at untold years ahead he wanted something different. As I came to grips with such thinking I thought of how life can change plans and we can make choices to change with or change commitments. Not easy to stay with early commitments, but marriage vows didn't ask for easy commitments.

So, as we continue down this path of matrimony, with all its joys and sorrows, all the laying down of our life, our wills and wants and timing. With the joys and high times, the memories and the normal days I think about what it is that I commited to.

" to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. "

Some days are better- we get along well, our words are sweet and kind and we enjoy each other. others are worse- we have few words and we dont like each other very much. silence or talk of the weather dominates our space. we dont agree and we dont want to be together.

We've had seasons of blessings- four children, sweet memories, abundance of things and peace.

We've had the "poor"- $35 paycheck and seasons of lots of beans and rice, debt and foolish spending and the drudgery of paying off our mistakes.

As for sickness and health , I've had seasons of being quite ill- once we looked at my life wondering how long it would last,I've sprawled on the lawn in great pain, he's had a bad back, and all the grumps that come with great enduring pain. We live with a child who has a health condition with an unknown quality about it.

We've had seasons of strength and we now find our bodies ache as we grow old together. Overall we think of health and we know that it is a blessing as we consider our life together

And then there is love- the part of the commitment that fills in the gaps and cracks-its characteristics so wonderful yet so hard at time to display

love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails

Cherish- to hold or treat as dear. to care for tenderly. to cling fondly to.

from this day forward until death do us part- wow! what a great reminder and time of reflection this has been. No wonder I delight in seeing older couples who have stayed the course, who have weathered the storm, who have allowed love to cover and cherishing to bind them together. what a delight to watch the ones who have soared and worked and struggles and commited. They too have known pain and heartache but somehow in the midst of the quiet days of pain they have chose to stick not hit and drop.

So, in this season as we watch others around us who have parted, and our heart breaks for their pain and choices we too have choices we make daily. will we believe lies about marriage? that it can't go the distance? that another will fill the gap within our heart and life? or will we review the commitment that was made when the love was fresh and the life ahead of us full of promise? will we choose to cherish for today, and today, and today? will we allow ourselves time to renew our heart if it has grown weary or cold toward our spouse? will we remind ourselves that the grass is green on the other side because its new growth but the same trials will come and the same lessons will have to be learned amidst life. Newness can come if we plant new seeds into our marriage today, and today, and today.

PS- I write this not in judgement of any kind, rather in reflection as I have found myself wondering who is next, and if we, after 25 years are likely to fall. I have long ago learned that I am but one step from any choice. I can honestly say that to see so many fall around me has rocked my world a bit, and I have had to remind myself of truth and from where my love comes. Even in writing this I have been reminded of the depth of my vows and how costly yet how dear they are. I continue to pray for the coupleswho have parted and we desire to encourage all who are in the midst of marriage struggles.

Transitions, change and growing up

Verbs are action words. They require action and movement or state of being. Sometimes that is so very hard to move or change the state of being. It feels like life is presently filled with verbs. This is a season of being a "Gumby" as my dear husband would say- being flexible. Not always easy.

I love my family and children, maybe too much, as it is often hard to let go and allow less of them to be enough. To let go of the old ways and begin new ways of doing things. Recently I realized that there is a kind of handoff as parents. You start with no children, then you adapt to having children and the first ones adapt to sharing life with the ones who follow them. the later children have known nothing else so on the tail end of their childhood they will be required to adapt to a quieter house and one with less folks around and then the parents again adapt to the return of the quiet house.

Our oldest, at 20 remains at home, as he is putting himself through school and is "too poor" to move out. My next is soon to graduate and is beginning to test her wings. In the past few months she has begun to makeup for the lack of activity in the past few years. She has joined a few clubs, and now is involved in Venture Crew as well as considering a new body to worship in. I am thrilled by her zest for life and am pleased to see her pursuing her interests.

Our middle son claims that he will never live in the country- he wants action and activity to surround him- so he is the one often seeking rides and wanting to go, go , go. Age and lack of funds often keep him homebound but the desire to fly is there. And then there is the youngest- Sam. He has only ever known having everyone around. He likes his siblings, though he will ask his oldest brother when he is moving out so that he can have his room. He gets sad sometimes when all are away from the house, yet he is not a real pursuer of people, rather he enjoys them when they are around but also enjoys being alone. hmmm, maybe he is more like his parents than I realized??!

It is a seaon of change and adjustment. Slowly we step down the path before us. slowly i release my hold and allow a bit of distance so that the children can become adults. little things like acknowledging that the 20 yr old is a young man and with that come some freedoms. Acknowledging that he now may excuse himself from the table, no longer seeking permission as he did as a boy. Some things are nice like the semi adult conversations about life and seeking information and opinion that we would not have enganged in years ago.

They are all doing well, enjoying some of the growth. I am finding that if I take it one step at a time I too am enjoying the transtion. It just has to go slow so I am not disoriented by too fast of a pace. life- a verb to be lived!

The end is near!

For weeks we have had the joy and pleasure of seeing the transformation of the exterior of the house continue. At times I would wonder if the end would ever come. This week it seems to be drawing near. Siding on the second floor is done. Windows wrapping on the first floor is complete. There is a bit of each as well as a few details here and there to take care of. Word is Friday. Today we had a bit of a scare as bad wood was removed and bugs sprawled- fortunately it was not termites but carpenter ants. Tomorrow the bug guy comes and sprays and the work will continue.

As with the roofing guys I have observed hard working men who give attention to detail. The guys call each other Bubba at times, they joke and carry on. they leave cigarette butts in the yard. They are country boys who know their task and a few other and go about life simply and on their own time schedule. When they do a task it is done well, and with courtesy to ask my preference and desire where there are options available.

Yesterday one of the crew drove up on their tire rim- a blow out just down the street. The team was working alone so they were kind of dead in the water for going anywhere. By the days end I realized anew how often folks dont care well for those around them. Knowing that they didnt have transportation I offered them lunch, which they enjoyed. They indicated that it was rare if ever to be treated as such. Hmmm, seems to me that if I care well for the workers on my house they will care more for working.

Today I was reading a passage from Created for Work by Bob Schultz to my son. In the chapter "Art in Your Heart" he speaks to this -

"A society with empty hearts gives only what is required, and that grudgingly. They even cheat one another by giving less than is required. Then the chated person cheats in return. Mistrust grows. Rather than giving out of the abundance of their hearts, they try to fill their empty souls with what they take from others, hoarding what they have gathered. "

As I read that paragraph I thought, that is what happens- empty hearts don't think of others, they live with mistrust and cheating and it becomes the norm. Mr Shultz spends time talking about how God puts art into the world- He could have made it a grey, dull world, rather He spent the time to add color and detail and craftsmanship - just because. The challenge to the reader is to do the same, within their ability. What an affirmation to choose to treat others well as well as to work with a will to do better.

We rejoice in the work that has gone on around us. We look towards the end of this chapter, the tidying of the yard and the fall foliage collection that will be part of our next chapter of the fall and the joy in doing the job well and training our kinder to work well.

Green tomatoes galore!

I woke this morning thinking of fall and the coming of a frost that will end the gardening season as I know it. As such i soon found myself out in the garden with a pail and trimmers. I began to clean out some of the raised beds. First the marigolds- I love the color of them but really do not like the smell at all. Next came a bed of tomatoes that were kind of spindly. After they were gone I found space to do some late fall strawberry plant transplanting of runners. This is my first go at strawberries. I started the summer with 3 plants and since then many runners have shot out and I have transplanted as I think of it. I am hoping that the spring will bring many healthy plants to burst forth with fruit.

I soon found my bucket heavy and full of green and a bit of red. My eye fell next upon the sweet potato plants. The vines were long and lush. The plants were kind of afterthoughts when I hit the feed and seed mid summer and they were marked 1/2 off. I tucked them into empty spaces and forgot about them. The vines took over one box and even started to root into the ground beyond the box. I trimmed back the vines and began to dig in the dirt. I am thankful for loose soil as it was fairly easy to find most of the tubers. One broke off and as I dug deeper I found that the potato had burrowed its way through the lanscaping fabric and into the clay soil beneath- wedged tightly into the earth. I was able to remove it. I now have 3 cardboard trays of sweet potatos drying on the campertop in the sun. Not bad for a first go at a new plant.

the green tomatoes continued to call so I began on another box of plants- the plant had been overwhelmed by squash early in the summer and didnt do much. once the squash left I kind of ignored it and sprawl city took over. Another bucket was filled with the green tomatos that were pulled from all the sprawling stems.

We then composted lots of stems and leaves- a long composting season for them as they are quite fiberous, but winter is coming so time is on my side.

With a bucket and half of green tomatos sorted for green tomato relish and half a bucket laid out in cardboard trays for ripening my morning ended. The afternoon was spent slicing, chopping and crying my way through the veggies as I prepped the relish - it is now 4 quarts, 1 pint of relish in the cooker for sealing. Our neighbors love the stuff so they will be well stocked!

More tomatoes await me for another day. Many stems still left to cut off the web of trellis that they weave through. As I began to clean up the garden today I marveled at all the produce that I have been able to collect from my small garden. I also thought of the joy of knowing that after I add a bit of manure mix to the loose soil I will be ready for the next planting season. It may take a bit to shake and deroot the plants and dirt as I pull some plants but so worth it to preserve the rich soil and look forward to future crops. It also has me again dreaming of what else to add to the garden next year, how many more beds and what layout will serve us best??

Until then I will collect my peppers and tomatoes and continue to put the garden to rest. The leaves are falling, the acorns are seeking out heads to bean as they drop. There is much to enjoy as I spend time in nature this month.

its been a while

My dear hubby is away on a whirlwind business trip to CA ( 32hr rooundtrip) so I am taking a bit of time to reflect upon the past few weeks. I had not realized that it has been over 3 weeks since I last blogged. The time has flown. Life has been life I guess- when one is in the midst of the whirlwind it can be hard to notice the breeze.

Our new roof is on, and it is beautiful- all the more because of the knowledge of the attention to detail that went into its installation. As the old roof (s- in some places) were removed the reality of the lack of care was fully revealed. Now we know that all was properly and throughly done. The group of seven men who worked on our home were phenominal by todays work ethic standards. They all worked steadily at their tasks. Each knew their task and rarely was any supervisor seen giving guidance. They put in 11 and 12 hour days with a lunch/ seista break around 1 pm each day. They were courteous and considerate and hard working. I longed to have spanish language skills to be able to communicate with them better. Yet we managed. I cheered on Jenny the reluctant air compressor. We helped them with parts and tools when she was stubborn on the second morning. We thanked them often and served up cokes and snickers to help keep their energy going. My youngest and I joined in the cleanup- the rolling magnet was too much fun to pass on. We shared the backstory and our deep gratitude for a new roof and our hopes that their assurance of "no leaks" would be reality.

At times I grieved over the attitude I heard from others - "mexicans eat anything". hmmm, would he/ she say the same about americans? their realitive? cousins? They are human and have preferences and I expect would be blessed to be asked- so we did. When asked they prefered cokes so that is what we provided. They were reluctant to come in the house to use the bathroom and even the sink to wash hands. It makes me wonder at their reluctance- do folks treat them as nobodies??? Do these men who work harder than any I have ever met not see that we esteem them and wish to do what little we can to make them comfortable after their morning of hard work?? I believe they left knowing that we esteemed them. Oh that we, the modern couch potato Americans , would walk a mile in their shoes and learn from their focused work ethic. I applaud the Mexican men who work so very hard, that have not forgotten what it is to work.

Since the reroofing life has been .... life. Parenting continues to have ups and downs. Some days easy, other days we cry out for wisdom. Some kids are struggling with lessonwork, others don't care much about it- and it shows, and then out of nowhere comes a piece of work that reminds us that there is hope within. That beneath the "temporary (we hope) brain altering that seems to have overtaken them that there is a core of character and solid base that might be seen again." Some training lessons need to be resumed, and others begun. I have other plans but life just keeps being life- so we adjust and adapt and breathe deep or laugh or cry or rejoice in the midst of it all.

I am always amazed at what ebay provides. At therapy last week a tool was shown to me that the therapist planned on getting through the system, though I was told that it could be a slow procedure. she gave me a name and I thought, why not look. Ebay came through. For $15 it is now on its way here so we can begin to implement it and begin building strength where it is weak. yeah for ebay and how it connects need to needy easily!

We find ourselves on the sidelines of a soccer field often these days. Each game is different and each team and coach has its own flavor. This past week one team was younger and had many members calling out to one another in a foreign language. Tonight the teams launched the ball higher than I have seen yet this season and then bounced it from head to head for a bit. Our son is reluctant to use his head- something I didnt understand until he revealed his concern for his teeth. About 5 years ago he busted a few front teeth in a superman leapfrog manuver that went awry. I guess the memory is still quite fresh and real so he guards them well. He is learning the sport- enjoying the defense postion more than the sidelines. As a new team member it is often a bit more on the sides than in the field. The lessons of supporting a team are still being learned.

The tomatoes keep coming, lots of japelenos and the compost keeps doing its thing. We are seeing deer wander in yards again- soon will be searching out the acorns that continue to "plop" to the earth around the yard. Fall is creeping in and we're loving it. Soon it will time to tuck in the flowerbeds and drain the hoses for the cool weather to come, but until then we are enjoying the time to commune with nature again with ease.

When it rains...

at my house I had gotten in the habit of looking up.

Our house came with a "new" roof 26 months ago when we bought it. The roof had been installed about 10 days prior to purchase. Since that time we have learned what it is like to have a leaking roof. So accustom to it that we kind of resigned ourselves to it after a while, getting to know the roof repairman on first name basis. Not what we wanted or expected, but life never is.

The drama of it all kind of faded after a while. In the first six months of life in Toney we had lots of drama that was house related. The roof stuff was drips in the corner of the master bedroom, marks and later drips in the upstairs bedroom and discovery of sideways laid shingles. Then the worst morning was discovering water dripping from the wires in the fuse box, lots of water. That was also taken care of and life went on, later more leaks, more repairs. And hearing our repair guy tell of caulking over 100 nailheads that should have been caulked over a year ago. We lived with it all, not happy but resigned and a bit frustrated by it all.

A few weeks ago that changed. We were past the 2 year labor warranty when the men working on the house installing siding pulled off gutters to reveal the shingles were short on the perimeter of the house. We kind of resigned ourselves to repairs, even purchasing several squares of shingles. Then the rain came and with it an indoor shower. Leak location #6. The wonderful siding guys went to work looking for the leak, we were thinking that they had put a nail through the flashing causing the leak, not so lucky. After siding and trim were taken off the house that had just been installed and several trips to the attic to find the leak without sucess they cut a hole in the ceiling of the porch roof and finally located the leak.

With the repair came the realization that not only was it a lousy roofing job but it was so lousy that our warranty on the shingles would be voided if it was ever examined. Nails were through the shingle - not through the tar in the shingle, thus water can seep under the shingle and into the house via the nail. This was found in several places. The siding guys, who are also experienced roofers also pointed out where there were already nails popping out because of incorrect install.

Needless to say we have since had several conversations with the roofing company. We are delighted to report that next week we are anticipating the installation of a new roof. They wanted to "lay over" the old roof, but we declined such a quick fix. My dear husband made an impressive powerpoint presentation of all the faults we have found with their "quality driven with every nail" roof- i guess they were impressed as they have tried to make this whole situation quickly go away and quietly.

for us it is a blessing to think of rain storms ahead, years ahead when we wont have to think of looking to the ceiling and wondering if yet another leak will form.

the original roofing crew has since gone on to other jobs. our faithful repairman who has shook his head repeatedly and done all he could to patch this roof to dryness will be installing the new one. Friends had their roof completed by him, through another contractor and report no problems. His character and throughness has been seen in our conversation and I believe we will be well pleased.

We thank God for this provision and the ease in which it has all transpired. I dreaded the thought of a court visit, but once an objective knowledgeable party expressed the truth of the roof's condition we realized that to not pursue corrective measures would be foolish upon our part.